14/12/2015

‘Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.’

In searching for how she thinks and feels I found how I think and feel….

You have taught me in our time of happiness more than anyone , more than even I taught myself
You taught me to be happy, you showed me more than what I had, you also showed me not to settle, you allowed me to express myself and to be open
And I fell into a sense of security that I didn’t know existed and I was ready to give it all up because I believed
And then you went cold, for whatever reason, you went harsh
Your replies became shorter and further apart, the effort waned to the point where talking was for the sake of it not for the enjoyment
This led to my unhappiness, it affected me more than even I thought it would, I sulked and moped around for weeks until I found out what happiness really was and I reconnected with myself and was able to find what I was looking for all along. Now that’s so wierd the fact that   You made me happy to such extents when I was around you, but your disappearance,  although it affected me, led me to positivity
Now I don’t know if happiness is more weighty that positivity, I am yet to find out.
So then the next phase was understanding, I begun to understand all the things and people I have wronged, on countless occasions I disappeared and left people, I also did it to you, so I begun to think back and realise all the bad I had done and how it must have affected others so for that I apologise.
I am sorry, and also sorry for the fact that we have come to this juncture, whatever I have done to you does not warrant your actions, I prefer to be told to fuck off rather than given half a handshake
So letting me know where you stand is a good thing
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